100 Things

1. If I sit on my office floor and look across the foyer into the music room, I can see an inch of dust under the piano.
2. If you come to visit me, I will ask that you not look under the piano.  Please respect my wishes.
3. I love to read.  I like a wide variety of genres, but right now I’m reading a lot of nonfiction (mostly theology-related).
4. I buy a lot of books.
5. Amazon dot com loves me.
6. When I was growing up, I read books all the time.
7. For me, reading was escapism.  Not that my life was bad at all; but the characters in my books had much more interesting lives than I did.
8. I still appreciate a good book, but I have to make time to read.
9. I have trouble putting a good book down; so if I’m going to start reading something, I have to make sure that I don’t have anything pressing to accomplish.
10. I’ve always wanted to write a book.  Maybe someday I will.
11. In college, I majored in accounting and minored in technical writing.
12. If I didn’t find a good man, I wanted to be able to support myself.
13. I found a good man.
14. I supported both of us while he spent six years in graduate school.
15. I survived fourteen tax seasons.  Not unscathed.
16. Now I do the accounting for my church and I occasionally balance my own checkbook.
17. If I ever hold a job again, I pray that it will not be in tax or accounting.  I am so over that.
18. I may be a Type D personality.  Newsweek once did a big article on Type D’s and my husband said, “Honey, you didn’t tell me that you were interviewed by Newsweek.”
19. I am an introvert.
20. I truly have difficulty coming up with small talk.
21. My mind goes blank in social situations.
22. After the fact, I think of plenty of things I should have said.
23. What I do think to say usually comes out wrong about 82% of the time.
24. Please disregard about 82% of what I say.
25. I have occasionally been known to sport a bad attitude and engage in venting.
26. My dear friend Heidi is not afraid to tell me to shut up.  I really respect her for that.
27. She was the first person that made me think that maybe other people wanted me to shut up, too.
28. My husband tells me that most people are afraid of me.
29. But my friend Caryn says that people listen to me and respect what I say.
30. When Caryn describes me, I really like the person she is talking about.
31. I would really like to meet that person someday.
32. I have had more cats than I can count.
33. I had a kitten named Fluffy that got her head chopped off in the car engine when I was seven.
34. My kids always ask for stories about my cats at bedtime.  I avoid the Fluffy story.
35. I am often amazed by the ridiculous things I remember from my childhood.
36. I remember missing my brother’s elementary school program because I refused to wear the dress that my Mom had laid out for me.  I hated that dress.
37. My daughter is very particular about her clothing.  I don’t know where she gets that.
38. Pizza?  Artichokes, spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, herbs, green peppers, banana peppers, onions…
39. I don’t like meat on pizza.  Sodium overload.
40. I seem to have a proclivity for contracting food poisoning.
41. I won’t throw up just once or twice.  Eleven is my minimum.
42. Once, I got sick on a Saturday night when we were having a taco potluck at church the next day.
43. I would advise that, if you’ve been vomiting, you do not open cans of refried beans to put in the crock pot.
44. I have gotten one speeding ticket.  I was repentant humiliated.
45. I cried tears of relief.  Years of running from the law will do that to you.
46. I haven’t exceeded the speed limit gotten caught since.
47. The ticket never made it onto my record since I received it in Oregon right before I switched my license over from North Carolina.  So let’s just pretend it never happened.
48. I graduated from college at 19 (it was a couple of days before my 20th birthday, but doesn’t it sound more impressive to say 19?).
49. I am the only adult on my husband’s side of the family who does not have an advanced degree.
50. I worked two summers at McDonald’s during college because I was too young for a real job.
51. I thought Bob the McDonald’s maintenance guy was hot!  I used to watch him through the drive-thru window when he was cleaning the parking lot.
52. I’m a preacher’s kid.
53. I know what you’re thinking:  preacher’s kids shouldn’t go around saying that Bob the McDonald’s maintenance guy was hot.
54. I think people set their expectations for preacher’s kids entirely too high.  We’re sinners just like you.  Sometimes more so.
55. I would be thrilled if God chose to use our family to minister in China someday.
56. But I was always afraid that if I “surrendered to Christian service” at youth camp that God would send me to Africa.
57. I’m really not sure why I didn’t want to go to Africa.  Maybe because of the bugs.
58. I do not like bugs.  That is an understatement.
59. I have had to learn to kill bugs because I find that my husband is not home at the most inconvenient times.
60. To kill a bug, I have to squint my eyes to avoid getting a good look at it.  If I got a good look at it, I would not be able to go near it.
61. I find that squinting when attempting to kill bugs sometimes causes me to fail in my attempts.
62. I believe that it is much worse to know that there is a bug that got away than to not know there was a bug at all.
63. My daughter freaks out about bugs.  I don’t know where she gets that.
64. I do a pretty good imitation of the Chipmunks’ “The Christmas Song.”
65. No, I will not do it for you.  It has to be spontaneous.
66. I also do a great Cousin Itt imitation because I have lots of hair.
67. My children have no idea who Cousin Itt is.
68. My husband has no idea who Cousin Itt is, either.  He grew up without a TV.
69. He is making up for those years of deprivation.
70. I do not like TV shows like “Lost” or “Heroes” or “Alias” that produce more questions than answers.
71. I do like chick flicks.
72. I have never been able to convince my husband to have a marathon “Anne of Green Gables” movie night with me.
73. My husband loves me, but there are limits.
74. (Well, he did love me, but that was before I brought up Bob the McDonald’s maintenance guy.)
75. My husband is American-born Chinese.  My daughter, as a toddler, used to tell people, “Daddy is all Chinese, I am half Chinese, and Mama and Evan are no Chinese.”
76. I’m not sure where she thought her brother came from, but let me put a stop to that rumor right now.
77. My son delights in his Chinese-ness.  He always asks who looks the most Chinese in the family, hoping that I’ll say it’s him.
78. I tell him it’s me.  Obviously.
79. My son thinks I’m funny.  I love him for that.
80. I can roll my tongue and raise one eyebrow.  At the same time, if necessary.
81. I can read music thanks to those piano lessons that never really took.
82. I’m a half-decent alto.  Those high notes elude me, except when I see a bug (refer to #58).
83. I do not enjoy exercise.
84. If I can motivate myself to exercise, it will be in the form of walking or Pilates.
85. I do not understand running.  I don’t know why anyone would do that to themselves.
86. If I am walking on the treadmill and I decide to sprint for a few seconds, the kids come running to watch me as if it is some special event (“Come quick!  Mama’s running!”).
87. My house used to be spotless.
88. A lot of my friends think it still is.
89. Before children, I would thoroughly clean the house every Thursday night whether it needed it or not.
90. Now I clean only when absolutely necessary, and sometimes not even then.
91. Doing a marathon cleaning is not something I’m physically able to do anymore, unless I have a couple days afterwards to lay in bed.
92. I love coffee.  Especially Starbucks coffee.
93. One of my son’s first words was “Starbucks”.  I was so proud.
94. Before we moved to Oregon, I had drunk coffee maybe 10 times and it had to be a mocha.
95. Something about Oregon made me an addict.  This deserves some scientific study.
96. I actually drink more tea than coffee, mostly green.
97. I like dark chocolate.  If only milk chocolate is available, I don’t bother eating it.
98. I enjoy blogging because I love to write and it’s good exercise for my brain.
99. I really appreciate you reading.
100. Now if I could just convince you to comment….